There is inevitably a point in marriage where the majority of conversations switch from passions, hopes, dreams for the future to something much less inspired: admin. If you have been married for a few years–especially if you have children– you know what I’m talking about.
Insurance, bills, appointments, taxes, maintaining cars, gadgets, toys, price hikes, discounts, occasional gossip—you know the drill.
Before my husband deployed, we often tried to take a day trip on weekends to reconnect. We loved getting out of our little Army town, and always loved the great discussions that only seemed to surface while driving. The conversations remind me of the ones we had when we were dating.
Now that our phone bill has dramatically spiked since he left, we can’t spend as much time on the phone. Our conversations are shorter and inevitably the admin issues are discussed first. Since I believe that talking is the way women emotionally connect to men, I have struggled with not being able to talk, at length, with my husband.
So I proposed the idea that we pick a book on marriage (he has a Kindle, so he can order them online easily) and we’ll read a few chapters a week, then discuss it and see how we can improve. (Yes, my dear husband has allowed me to lure him into my little book club!) In theory, our relationship continues to flourish and we get to talk about some things that truly excite me.
Our first pick??
We’re going to go with “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs. Recently, two friends have raved about this book and the impact it had on their marriages. Since it’s available on Kindle, the choice is pretty much a no-brainer. I’ll let you know how this goes and if it helps me to feel closer to my husband while he’s away.
Do you have secrets for reconnecting with your spouse? Date nights? Talks out on the porch? I’d love to hear more ideas!
© 2010, Amy. All rights reserved.
{ 4 comments }
Wow, Amy — what a great idea! I know this is a difficult time for you, and I think it is so wise to have this “couples book club” plan in place. In fact, I think it would be good for all married couples. (If others are like us, we can get caught up in “admin” and never get beyond that.)
Can you two Skype at all? Would that make things easier or harder? Hoping you have a good day and some time to read!
Amy…what a great idea. I hope this helps you feel more connected…. You are such a special person!
What a neat Idea to keep connected while he’s away! St. Patrick’s Day marks the day my husband asked me to stop dating around and to date him exclusively; 13 years ago. Today he asked me to be his girlfriend. I thought he had officially lost it…I gave him 2 kids for Pete’s sake! But he said he wants to start dating again. [Well, hello, stomach butterflies!]
Oh Jenny! That is the cutest thing ever! I love the idea of dating your spouse!! Kelly Ripa talks about having a crush on your spouse, which I love, too!
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